Wednesdays (DeadpoolxReader) One-Shot

In all your years of working with the Avengers, you never thought you would ever want to stop. However your mindset was beginning to change when a certain man dressed in black and red waltz in Stark Tower several months ago.

Deadpool.

He was a very reckless man. If he could even be called a man. He was a child in your eyes. One that made you wonder, Is he even an Avenger? Natasha agreed with you that he was worse than Stark whereas the guys didn’t see him as that big of a problem. That was probably because he bothered you mostly.

He was playing pranks on you constantly and cracked jokes every hour on the hour. This sort of behavior was driving you insane. Somehow, you managed to not crack.

        Today was Wednesday; or rather, “Hump Day”. That’s what Deadpool usually called it anyways. It was also your day off which meant nothing but surfing through Netflix on the couch in your pajamas. But on this particular day, you had your guard up because  you knew something was going to happen. While walking through Stark Tower, you kept your eyes opened for a certain mischievous psycho.

“(NAME)!”

Fuck, you thought. Maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away.

“(NAME)! (NAME)! (NAAAAAAAAAAAAME)!”

“WHAT?” you snapped.

Hands clenched up in fists at your sides, you faced the nuisance who had called your name. Deadpool.

“What’cha doin?” he asked casually.

He looked you up and down, noticing that you weren’t wearing your usual black pencil skirt with your white blouse. Instead you were wearing an oversized sweater that read, “Normal People Scare Me” and a pair of black pajama shorts.

“Going to go watch some movies,” you stated bored.

“Interesting,” he said, starting to walk slow circles around you, making you give him the, “what-the-fuck-are-you-doing” look. “Can I join?”

“Uh…no.”

He clasped his hands together, pouting from what you could tell from the frowning crease on his mask.

“(Name) don’t be so mean. Superhero’s need movie breaks too!”

“You’re more of anti-hero really,” you shrug.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

You sigh. “Basically you are a hero but you break the rules of what a hero is. So you know, you’re not exactly a villain. Kind of like something in between. Or...or…” you place a finger on your lip as you think. “Actually, the only way I can explain is that you’re fucking insane. Usually sanity is something one needs if they want to be a hero.”

He rubbed imaginary tears away from his eyes. “That is the most beautiful fucking thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“I rest my case.”

♦♦♦♦♦♦

Something was definitely up today. Deadpool was sitting next to you calmly for once. Even when you had selected a chick flick instead of an action movie like he had wanted, he didn’t complain that much. He propped his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back, looking like he was interested in the movie. It was The Notebook. Almost every guy screamed in agony when his girlfriend picked out that movie to watch. Then again, you and Deadpool were just friends. But still. This was behavior that was too odd even for him.

“T-This is so heartbreaking,” he sniffled, watching the rain scene.

You on the other hand were trying your best to not groan. Yes the movie was cute but it had it’s moments where it was overly dramatic. You seriously regretted picking this movie out. You thought that once you did, Deadpool would leave.

The cheeky bastard was still there though.

“(NAME)!” a female voice shrieked.

You jumped off your seat on the couch, recognizing the voice to be Natasha’s. When you ran to the Russian spy’s room, your jaw dropped at what you saw.

“I knew he was up to something!” you exclaimed.

Everything was suddenly clear.

♦♦♦♦♦♦

You walked back to the living room silently to see that Deadpool had stopped watching the chick flick and was now watching some sort of lesbian porn.

“Nice,” you raised your eyebrows.

Since he was distracted by that, it made easier for you to construct your plan. You tiptoed over to the kitchen where you set everything up. Once everything was in place, you started to move onto phase two of your master plan: make the chimichangas. You had made them before and they were fairly good. Knowing Deadpool, as soon as he smelled it, he wouldn’t be able to resist coming to the kitchen to steal them.

Just as expected, Deadpool popped into the kitchen.

“Is that what I think it is?!” he gasped.

You stopped him at the door. “Hold it.” You called the Avengers into the kitchen who all looked pissed. “Explain this to me.”

Tony was standing there in his Iron Man suit, Thor in his Asgardian armor, Natasha in her jumpsuit, Clint in his suit as well as Steve, and Bruce in his usual attire. The only difference? All of their clothing were now pink and Tony’s suit had been spraypainted hot pink.

“....On Wednesdays we wear pink bitch!” Deadpool said like the happy teenage girl from Mean Girls.

Pulling a nearby string, it activated a bucket filled with black paint to come spilling over him.

“Actually,” you smirked. “On Wednesday’s we wear black.”

“Wow (Name),” he said. “I’ve underestimated you. Now c’mere you!”

“No wait!” you wailed as he threw his arms around you for a tight hug. “Curse you Deadpooooool!”